I think it's working!

I just wanted to post a few feelings I have about this little experiment of mine. I have this image of the kind of Mom I want to be and it's been bugging me for a while, because I felt like I wasn't getting there. Over the last week or so, I finally feel like I'm making progress and I guess it's because I quit analyzing the problem and started taking action. Today I felt true happiness and contentment in myself knowing that things may not be perfect or every activity may not be bliss, but I'm one tiny step closer to my goal than I was yesterday.
I think this realization hit today when someone asked me if I was going to audition Gabriela for the dance team. My first impulse is to want to do it, but then I thought of the hours we would spend sitting at the dance school and Julianne and Sophia having to endure it with me. I was actually more excited about all the fun things I want to do with all three of them and the fun we've been having. That's it! That's the feeling I've been looking for for the past couple of years! I'm enjoying my children and I feel successful as a Mom. I'm looking for ways for us to spend time together and my husband actually said "Thank You," last night for helping them celebrate Cinco de Mayo. I was so happy and that little acknowledgment was worth all the effort. I'm loving my life right now. Hooray!!!